Changes In Perspective Often Changes Priorities...
Changing the World...
Time is one of those things that we always seem to have too much or not enough of isn't it? For me, that has certainly been the case in the last few months. I blinked and it was November. That revelation made me realize that my life outside of this blog had gotten completely ahead of me causing me to put this pursuit to the side in order to concentrate on more important matters. Crazy as it seems, with the holidays upon us, I am actually starting to catch up. Maybe it's because the things that I have been through in the last few months have forced me to take on a new perspective. That perspective has come with a rearrangement of my priorities. Just because I have a new perspective and have readjusted my priorities do not mean that the journey toward self-improvement is over though. Instead, I feel as though I just took another fork in the long road called life, and I am scared about where it might lead me. This has caused me to take stock of not just my life, but the world around me and just what type of mark I want to leave on it when my candle is eventually snuffed out.
Change is Scary...
The catalysts for change are often like jolts to our systems. In my case, it was no different. I was blindsided by some news in May that continued to spiral until everything collapsed in on itself in August. What I was left with was the realization that what I had wished for leading up to May did not come in a neat little package when it finally arrived. I know I know...be careful what you wish for right? At any rate, my wish had come true in one sense causing upheaval in several other areas of my life. It was then that I began to realize that I didn't have to fear the changes, but I did have to be open to creating a new normal for myself. That is something that a lot of us struggle with, so at least I know that I am not alone.
Change is Universal...
What I am learning as I carve out my new normal is that change is universal. It happens to all of us and most of us do not do well with it at first. I asked myself why that is and the best answer that I could come up with is that, too often, we become comfortable and set in our patterns of living and worldviews. Because of this, when something comes along to challenge how we think about the world around is terrifying. This causes us to resist change rather than lean into it. One of the most obvious places we saw this was when our twenty-four-hour society scaled back to "normal business hours" during the pandemic. For years, people had been calling for the world to slow down, and for businesses to close on major holidays, but when this was finally forced upon us courtesy of Covid-19 many reacted to it with hostility. It wasn't that we didn't want the changes that we had been calling for before the pandemic, it was that we were not mentally prepared for the speed at which the changes were forced upon us.
Change is a Process...
Because the catalysts for change are often like jolts to our systems change is hard. We make it harder on ourselves by forgetting that change is also a process. It comes with a blending of our old ideas with the new ones we are being presented with and that takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day, homemade chaffels don't happen without some mixing and blending, and masterpieces aren't painted in an hour. Everything takes time and some effort. This is something I realized as I continued to struggle with my own situation and turned to watching obsessive amounts of Youtube influencer videos as a distraction from my own problems. I kept asking myself why it is they seemed to have it all figured out and I can't seem to figure out how to get through just one day. Then it hit me. They don't have it figured out. They are faking it. These influencers are as scared and insecure as I am. They just hide it better. That was the first time I felt my perspective change. Once that happened I started to change my priorities.
Changing Priorities...
Changing priorities is not easy for a people-pleaser. I still make sure that my house is in order just in case someone pops by. The table is always set, the floor is always swept, and the dishes are always done. I am sure that will never change because I am a total nester. That said, I am working on the aspect of my people-pleasing nature that prioritizes the desires of others above my own mental and physical well-being. As part of this shift in my priorities, I have started to ask myself if what I am about to do for them feels like a burden or if it will truly bring me joy. If the answer is no then I am working on politely declining their invitation to do whatever it is that they are asking me to do. I am not 100 percent there, but as these changes gradually take hold, and those around me learn about where my new boundaries are, my mental and physical well-being is improving steadily.
Changing Me...
As part of changing my priorities where the desires of others are concerned, I am also renewing my commitment to self-care. I used to run seven miles a day. Nothing came between me and my run. That was my one hour of me time a day and everything else in my life was crafted to fit around it. This last year has been a struggle with my commitment to me-time so no wonder when change came suddenly I was ill-prepared for it. It was because I had no outlet for my stress. Yes, I enjoy baking, thrifting, and sewing, but my run was my one hour of alone time away from the house, the phone, the computer, and all of the daily BS.
Change is Revealing...
As I have started to assess why I have felt so unsatisfied with my life lately and make the changes necessary to reclaim some parts of myself and reshape others, it occurred to me that the biggest compromise I have made in the last few months with regard to where my priorities lay is in my writing. That is especially true where this blog is concerned. When I started this blog I thought it would be a fun outlet for my creative side and made the conscious decision to stick to lifestyle writing (because it is safe). Now, months on and a few crises later, I realize how limiting that is for me. I can write about lifestyle topics and will continue to do so for sure, but I will also be expanding the topic lists on this site to include literature and history. While many of the viewpoints on such topics are not as safe as sticking with lifestyle blogging, I feel compelled to write about the very things that I have been formally educated in.
Change is Coming...
So what does the expansion in topics mean for anyone who reads this blog? It means that you will occasionally get lifestyle tips, and at other times you might get a critique of a book I am reading. It also means that, on occasion, you might get a blog written about some aspect of American history. My specific areas of interest are American slavery, the Civil war, the Lost Cause, and the impact that all of these things have had on American ideas of race, class, gender, and identity. This means that, while I will tackle British literature from time to time, I tend to focus on American Southern literature as a counterpart to my historical studies.
Change is Good...
While it may not seem like it at the time, change is always good. It forces us out of our comfort zone and helps us grow in ways we never thought that we could. It also helps us see people, places, and things in new ways which can be healing. You have to lean into the changes before you can start to create your new normal. Grace Slick and I look forward to growing and changing with you and, as always, we encourage you to seek joy. You can also come and check out our crazy life over on Instagram by clicking any of the images on this post. Until next time, enjoy the journey that is life, and be safe in your travels.
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